Still with me
by rosie-bec
Summary: Fluff. The Doctor sends a message out into the ether... will anyone ever see it?


A/N: Just a little fluff that attacked me in the night. Enjoy... I hope.

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Still with me

_So, either by thy picture or my love,_

_Thyself away thou art present still with me;_

_For thou not farther than my thoughts canst move,_

_And I am still with them, and they with thee….._

_Sonnet 47_

He sat down on the jump seat and adjusted his tie for the thousandth time before pressing record.

"Hello Rose. Hope you're well." The Doctor chuckled. "Listen to me! 'Hope you are well', like some distant acquaintance. Still it's true. I do hope you are well. I hope you're as absolutely fantastic as ever and enjoying life. I hope you're giving your mum heart attacks, running off on madcap adventures, even if they are on boring old earth.

Nothing's changed here really. I've made a new friend. Her name's Martha, she's training to be a doctor. You'd like her; she's already had to save my life. First time we met actually. Seems to be a theme with me doesn't it? Meet people, save their life, then have them save mine. She's fun and smart but she's not you, she can't replace you, no one can. I wouldn't even give them the chance to try.

The TARDIS hasn't changed a bit, still bumping along. Hasn't been the same since Jack fiddled about under the control panel. She misses you though. Me too for that matter. I miss you like air; I might not need it all the time but I need it none the less. I wish you could see this, I wish that you could come home. Selfish as it is I want you here, with me. You're the one person I didn't have to leave behind and the one person that didn't choose to leave me. When you had to choose between your family and me you chose me. No one has ever done that before, chosen me over their own life. And what a life Rose Tyler, what a life!

And this, good people is why I'm sending this message out into the ether.

If anyone ever finds this and ever has the privilege of meeting Rose Tyler of the Powell Estate London, England tell her… she's fantastic. This is her," he held up a picture to the camera. "the only picture I have of her, all the pictures she took were of me and the places we went to. I never got the chance to tell her just how much she meant to me, I ran out of time. So now I can only hope she knows how much I love her and always will. An ordinary human girl and I find she's anything but ordinary. She took my miserable existence and made it bright and fun and exciting. She says I taught her a better way of living but that's not true, it was her that taught me.

So take it from me, if you ever find you are lucky enough to have Rose Tyler in your life, never let go of her. Keep her close and safe but let her spread her wings because she is never more beautiful than when she soars.

And if by some freak chance, Rose Tyler, by some miniscule, tiny, impossible chance you are actually seeing this then, if you remember nothing else I have ever said, remember this; you were my salvation Rose Tyler. You were brighter than any star that even I could ever imagine and I love you, more than anything. In my 900 years of existence nothing was ever more precious to me than you. Good bye my timorous beastie," he smiled, slipping into a Scottish accent but soon sobered. "Good bye my friend."

A tear slipped down the Doctor's cheek as he switched the camera off.

XxXxX

Martha watched him turn a few dials on the control panel, sending his message out into space.

She and the Doctor always had fun, they laughed and joked and were good friends. But she knew enough about him to know that Rose Tyler haunted him. She knew lots of things from his past haunted him but for some reason he couldn't let the ghost of this girl go. He'd never told Martha he loved Rose, he'd never told her out loud how he felt about anything really and she'd realised long ago that the humour that supported his day was sometimes forced. When it was genuine it was sometimes short lived as something would remind him of the girl he lost.

Martha felt her heart ache every time that lonely look spread through his eyes wishing she could take it away, longing to be someone he loved, someone who could save him but she knew it would never be. One day she knew she would have to leave him, one day she would have to walk out of those doors to save herself.

Silently, with a heavy heart she walked back towards her room, what she wanted to tell the Doctor could wait. It wasn't important, not right now. Sometimes he was just too human for her.

XxXxX

The boy sat watching his computer screen, laughing at the silly home videos people had posted. Then one caught his eye.

The still was of a man in a blue pinstriped suit looking straight at the camera. He looked tired and sad and familiar so the boy felt compelled to watch it.

"……………………_..you were my salvation Rose Tyler. You were brighter than any star that even I could ever imagine and I love you, more than anything. In my 900 years of existence nothing was ever more precious to me than you."_

The young man sat staring at the screen, the final image of the man's tears frozen on his monitor.

"You alright? Look like you've lost your best friend?" a voice came from the door.

"I haven't, I think he has though." He nodded to the screen and gestured for his friend to take a look. "Ready for this?" He clicked play again.

The pair sat transfixed as the man launched into his monologue again.

"Where did you find this?" the girl asked her voice thick and wavering.

"It was just on the site. The guy said it just downloaded onto his computer one day and thought he should do the guy a favour and post it."

"Where does the guy live?"

"Erm," he scanned the screen credits. "Cardiff."

"The rift. Well this is new."

"That's a new suit too. He always wore that brown one."

As the figure reached the end of his monologue the girl put a hand to her mouth at his final words.

"I thought you should see it. I'm sorry Rose."

"No, it's okay Mickey. I just…. Seeing him so sad and there's nothing I can do about it, I hate it."

"I know. At least now you know how he felt."

"I always knew I suppose really. My poor Doctor." She felt the tears sting at her eyes.

"You want a copy? I can email the guy ask him to burn it for you."

"Yeah. Thanks Mickey." Rose stood and made to leave his office.

"You gona be okay?"

She nodded, "yeah. Now I _know_ it wasn't all one sided. Oh and you shouldn't be looking at Youtube during office hours," she teased, her voice wobbling with emotion.

"Well the Doctor always broke silly rules like that and it always turned out for the best. Looks like me being a rebel paid off today too."

"Yeah, looks like it did. Thanks Mickey."

Rose walked back to her office, the Doctor's words ringing in her ears. She suddenly found herself running towards the lift. Rose Tyler was on a mission. If the Doctor can send a message out into the ether and it can reach her then she must be able to do the same. Surely, with all of Torchwood's technology they must be able to send a message into the rift.

XxXxX

Jack Harkness sat alone in the hub. Everyone had gone home for the night, leaving him to himself because for Jack Harkness, this was his home. He had no where else to go and he didn't care. If the universe ever needed him he'd be ready for them.

He sat mesmerised by the patterns the rift's activity made on Tosh's computer screen. It was like watching agitated water.

He barely noticed the change in it's rhythm at first, until it looked like there was an earth quake. Something similar had happened a few days earlier but with no traceable reason. Jack sprung into action. Tracking the signal and trapping it before it could die.

Waiting impatiently for the file to load Jack wasn't prepared for what he found there.

XxXxX

The TARDIS control panel beeped at the Doctor.

"What the….? Looks like the old girl has picked up a message." He smiled over at his companion but it didn't reach his eyes as it so often seemed these days.

'_Hello? Doctor?' _a familiar American voice crackled over the speakers causing the Doctor to freeze._ 'I don't know if you're getting this but something strange happened with the rift and well, this was the outcome. I thought you should see it,' _

The monitor sprung into life.

'Hello, Doctor. I don't know if you'll ever find this but it's worth a try right? Mickey found your message on a website. It managed to download onto some random bloke's computer in Cardiff so he thought he'd post it, see if anyone understood it. Lucky break huh? Although knowing you you'll say that's how you intended it, that you knew what you were doing all along. Well no such attempts from me. I haven't got a clue what I'm doing; I'm relying on Mickey to pull of the technical bits. I thought I'd know exactly what to say but now I'm struggling to. I suppose I should start by letting you know we're all fine. You won't believe it but even mum misses you. I swear, she talks about you almost as much as I do. Okay maybe not quite that much but she does miss you. She quite liked you in the end. Must've been the unconscious-in-her-bed business that Christmas." Rose giggled, poking her tongue between her teeth the way she always did when she was teasing him.

At this point Martha made for the door not wanting to hear any more.

"I knew it'd be hard living life here instead of at home but if you were here it'd be so much easier, 'cause all the stuff back home, none of it matters. I knew you loved me Doctor, I just never thought you'd ever say it and then you ran out of time. Talk about ironic, the Lord of Time runs out of it. I'm glad you said it though, makes me feel like I'm not deluding myself. Sometimes I thought it was all in my head. Trust us to be the ones to say it too late. But I miss you so much it hurts…." Her eyes began to tear up and her voice cracked, causing the Doctor to ache. He wanted to get up and hold her, tell her it was alright.

"Part of me is missing without you and your silly hair and the way you talk at 900 miles an hour. Everything is just wrong without you here.

I'm glad you've found a friend. I don't want you to be on your own Doctor. And you wouldn't be if I had just held on longer. I'm sorry; I never wanted it to come to this. But remember I love you. I know I've said it before but that hasn't changed. I will always love you. You are the most amazing person I have ever met and I feel so honoured to have had you in my life, even for the couple of years we had together. I have so many fantastic memories that will keep you with me always. And don't give Martha too many reasons to need to save your life, it won't help her with her medical exams if she goes in and feels for two heart beats instead of one."

The Doctor chuckled

"Goodbye My Doctor. You're right, we were fantastic." She blew a kiss at the screen and that's where the video cut.

He sat staring at the black screen for ages, tears hovering in his eyes before a smile split his face. If he could get Jack to track the source of the signal and follow it through the rift, he would be able to send more messages.

"Fantastic!"

**FIN**

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**A/N:**

That's all folks. Will update Echoes probably tomorrow...friday 13th (scary!) so make sure you've all read chapter 18. Let me knwo what you think.

"Catch ya on the flip flop!"


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